


The Voodoo that You Do

by CydSA



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-26
Updated: 2011-02-26
Packaged: 2017-10-15 23:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/165881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CydSA/pseuds/CydSA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College!AU – Adam is in his last year of college, Kris is in his first. Adam is used to being the star on campus, Kris has sort of taken over. Adam decides that voodoo is the only way to deal with the usurper. How could it all go so wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Voodoo that You Do

Adam hated Kris on principle.

There wasn’t anything wrong with him per se but the fact that this man-child had skimmed through school, cruised into college and just taken over the campus when he, Adam Lambert, had spent four hard years making sure he owned everything he surveyed seriously pissed him off.

There may have been a _little_ resentment there too.

Kris had been three years behind him at school every teacher’s pet, every jock’s best buddy, every girl’s ideal boy. Adam had enjoyed the brief respite at Camelot College, but then Kris had arrived and it was like déjà vu all over again.

Adam looked over at the baseball pitch and watched the now-easily recognizable compact figure of Kris Allen take his position with the bat. He is not cute, Adam told himself sternly. He is not cute _at all_.

“Hey!” he yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Three strikes and you’re out, loser!” He had no idea if that was right but he’d watched Madonna say it in one baseball movie she’d been in and she was always right. Madonna was God.

 **  
_CRACK_   
**

The sound of ball connecting with bat brought Adam’s attention to the field again and he looked up to see a small, white, fucking hard ball hurtling towards him at the speed of sound.

“Duck!” he heard someone yell.

“Fuck!” He didn’t.

[   
](http://s200.photobucket.com/albums/aa54/CydSA/my%20art/?action=view&current=blackrose.gif)

The next thing he knew, he was looking up at bright lights and asked, dazed, “Am I in heaven?”

The snort of laughter to his left caught his ears and he turned his head. And made a whimpering sound that if he was feeling better he would have been totally embarrassed about.

Kris was sitting in the chair next to the hospital bed and his caramel eyes were twinkling. “Dude, I clocked you with a baseball. I didn’t send you to meet your maker.”

Adam really wanted to respond with something pithy and witty but his head was filled with cotton wool and oblivion was shouting his name.

It was totally unfair that Kris was so pretty and perfect and Adam was lying in a hospital bed, pale and freckly and pathetic, with a lump the size of Louisiana on his head.

“You broke me,” he said instead.

“Yeah,” Kris agreed, “about that?”

“What?” Adam asked.

“Um, I’m sorry?” Kris offered.

Adam wanted to advise Kris exactly _where_ he could shove his apology but his brain reminded him that it hurt. For once, he listened to his body and closed his eyes, turning his back on Kris and waiting until he heard him leave the room. It took longer than he’d expected for his nemesis to leave.

[   
](http://s200.photobucket.com/albums/aa54/CydSA/my%20art/?action=view&current=blip.gif)

When he woke up again, he was still in the hospital room but this time the chair was occupied by Brad. Somehow, his ridiculously skinny best friend had managed to fold himself into the extremely uncomfortable chair like a human pretzel.

“Brad?” Adam’s voice sounded rusty.

Brad looked up from filing his nails and smiled. “Well hello, Sleeping Beauty. It’s about time you rejoined the land of the living.”

Adam lifted his hand to his head. “Ow,” he said and dear God, he sounded pitiful.

“Good thing your head is as hard as it is, petal,” Brad said, sounding far too cheerful. “Although that colossal bump in the middle of your forehead sort of reminds me of a rhino horn.”

“What?” Adam flinched as the sound of his shout reverberated through his brain. “Ow,” he whined again.

“So, the skinny is this,” Brad said, arranging his legs into another formidably impossible pose. “You got clocked on the noggin by a baseball hit from the bat of the cutie patootie Kris Allen after you’d basically called him a wuss in front of his team.”

“That’s right!” Adam gasped and struggled to sit upright. “The little shit totally took me out.”

Brad looked at him and reminded him, “If you hadn’t been standing on the edge of the baseball field thing-y or if you’d maybe ducked when you saw a ball coming towards you, then you wouldn’t be here.”

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to duck out of the way of speeding ball?” Adam glared at his friend.

“No,” Brad admitted. “I’ve never found myself in that particular position.” He grinned. “One of the few positions I haven’t tried yet.”

Adam snorted a laugh and then clutched his head. “Asshole,” he mumbled with a grin.

“To be frank, petal,” Brad said. “I really don’t get the Kris-hate. He’s kind of a doll.”

Adam scowled, annoyed all over again. “Brad, that ‘cutie patootie’,” his air quotes were vicious, “has taken over my school.”

Brad’s expression didn’t change. “It’s not _your_ school, petal. It’s our school and he’s adorable.”

Adam felt utterly betrayed. “You’ve…” he stopped, barely able to finish his sentence, “made friends with him.” He made it sound like Brad had made friends with a venereal disease.

Brad’s eyes nearly rolled right out of his head. “Of course I did, you moron. _I_ am not an insecure, self-involved asshole who thinks that the world should revolve around him.”

Adam stopped. He stared at Brad. “Oh. My. God. You hate me.”

Brad stood up and came to the bed, sitting down and taking one of Adam’s hands. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” His words were harsh but his tone was kind. “You never gave Kris a chance and he’s a real sweetheart. I’ve spent time with him. You’ve been all Mr. Avoidance and Jealousy. I just don’t understand your dislike of him. You suck.”

Adam turned his head away and pulled his hand out of Brad’s. “Well,” he said, feeling like a tragic heroine from one of those awesome bodice rippers his mom liked to pretend she didn’t read. “You go and hang out with your new friend then. I’ll just stay here, recovering from a vicious attack by that same person.”

Brad hopped off the bed. “Oh my God, that ball obviously scrambled your brain, because you’re acting even more irrationally than usual.” He sighed. “I love you like burning, petal, but it seems like you’re just unreasonable where Kris is concerned. Are you sure there’s not just a teensy weensy bit of lust all wrapped up in that posturing?”

Adam snorted. “I think maybe _you’re_ the one who got conked on the head.”

Brad raised an eyebrow and waited. Adam hated when he did that. He practically bit his tongue off not saying something more. Brad eventually sighed. “Fine, Mr Denial-is-a-river-in-Egypt, I’ll come and visit you tomorrow if you’re still here.”

“Whatever,” Adam waved a hand and Brad sashayed out.

Adam hated Kris with the fire of a million suns.

[   
](http://s200.photobucket.com/albums/aa54/CydSA/my%20art/?action=view&current=blip.gif)

His mom came in later with his aunt Norma. She wasn’t exactly his aunt; more like adopted family, but Adam had his suspicions about her. He’d worried about his mother from the moment that Norma had moved in with her.

“How are you feeling, baby?” Leila asked, putting a hand on his cheek. He noticed that she avoided the narwhal horn on his forehead. He flinched.

“Feeling like someone who has a headache and a unicorn horn,” Adam grumbled and Norma gave a chuckle.

“It’s a look alright,” she agreed. Adam glared at her.

“The doctors want to keep you overnight for observation, baby, so we’re going to stay here for a bit and then let you get some rest.” Leila was determined to ignore the bitch face Adam was pulling.

“What happened?” Norma asked.

Adam wriggled down into his pillows and tattled. “Kris Allen happened, that’s what.”

“What’s a Kris Allen?” Leila asked, eyebrows raised. “Wait a minute… I’m sure I know that name from somewhere.”

“A Kris Allen is the newest and brightest at Camelot College,” Adam said and he sounded bitter even to himself.

“That’s right,” Leila exclaimed. “He went to school with you.”

“Not _with_ me,” Adam corrected. “He’s younger, but yeah, he went to the same school. Now he’s at Camelot and it’s like he’s been there forever.”

“And you don’t like that someone is taking your spotlight?” Norma’s eyes were narrow with understanding. “You don’t like anyone outshining you at all, do you, cher?”

Adam looked at her warily. “No,” he admitted, “but the problem is that this guy has just swept in and taken over Camelot when I had to work fucking hard at it.”

Leila glared at him. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

Norma put a hand on Leila’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go and get us a cup of coffee from the cafeteria, m’ange,” she said and Leila looked at her in concern. “I am thirsty.”

Adam watched in bewilderment as Leila merely nodded and left the room. Norma sat down on the bed next to him. “Now, mon petit chou, how can I help make this better for you?” Her Cajun accent had just thickened tenfold and for a moment, Adam almost didn’t recognize her.

Adam shook his head. “I don’t see how you can help,” he said and she took his hand.

“Talk to me, cher,” Norma encouraged.

And somehow, it all came flowing out. “See, I like him. I mean, I really like him. I’ve liked him since high school. But, Kris is gorgeous and straight and a jock and evil. Did I mention how evil he is?”

“But you like him,” Norma said with a smile and Adam flushed.

“I don’t want to!” he whined. “He doesn’t even realize how amazingly pretty he is and that he leaves broken hearts and heads in his wake.” He sounded utterly pathetic even to himself. He had such a hard-on for Kris and he’d obviously been in denial - that fucking river in Egypt - for a long time now.

“Adam, you know what I am, ne c’est pas?” Norma looked at him intently and Adam found himself getting lost in her dark eyes.

“What are you?” he asked.

“I am a mambo, a priestess of Voodoo and I can help you,” Norma told him and Adam wanted to laugh but the sudden flame that appeared in her eyes scared the living crap out of him.

“Um,” he said and felt his heart give a little stutter. “I’ve known you for two years and _now_ you tell me?” he squeaked.

“Your mama is studying to be a mambo too,” Norma told him.

Adam wanted to press his emergency panic button but something was holding him still. “I can grant you one wish, cher,” Norma said. Her voice was like music, soothing, reassuring, comforting and Adam forgot his fear.

“You want this boy to know how you feel?” she asked, and Adam nodded. Her eyes were grass-green and deep. “I make it so you know how he feels too,” she crooned and Adam wanted to object but hey, it might help him not hate the guy so much.

“Okay,” he agreed, agreeably, and she smiled. Suddenly she was Norma again and the pressure had eased from the room and Leila walked in with two cups of coffee and looked at them curiously.

“Did I miss anything?” she asked.

Norma shook her head. “Mais non, we were just talking.”

Adam shook his head and the throbbing started up again. “I…” he began and for the life of him he couldn’t remember what they had been talking about.

“Fais do-do,” Norma told him, “your head took a hard knock.”

Adam smiled at her and told his mother, “I think I’m going to try and get some sleep.”

She patted his hand. “Sure, sweetie, but I think the doctors are going to keep waking you up.” She smiled. “We’ll come and get you in the morning, okay?”

Norma tucked her arm into Leila’s and they left the hospital room with a wave. Adam wasn’t quite sure what had just happened. He had a funny feeling that he wasn’t going to like it.

[   
](http://s200.photobucket.com/albums/aa54/CydSA/my%20art/?action=view&current=blip.gif)

They released him the next morning. Adam was glad to leave the place. Being woken up every couple of hours to check his pupils and ask if he knew who the President was had not been entertaining. Why the President?

He noticed that the gigantic bulge on his forehead had settled down to a slightly less gigantic bulge.

He still put his beanie on.

His mother told him he could be coddled for the day and that he had to get back to college the following morning. Leila and Norma had shared the house for two years. Since Leila’s divorce from Eber, she’d stayed on her own and Adam had tried to encourage her to get out there and start dating but when Norma had moved in, she’d seem less lonely.

Adam had a feeling that the relationship was not purely platonic. But his mother had never had sex and would never have sex. In fact, he had been found as a baby under a rock; that was his story and he was sticking with it.

Norma spent the day in the kitchen cooking up a storm. She had a day job as a pastry chef and supplied tarts and beignets to a few of the restaurants in the French Quarter.

“Can I have one?” he asked when he wandered into the kitchen later in the afternoon. The smells wafting out were irresistible.

Norma waved at the lemon tarts cooling on a rack. “Mais weh, cher,” she said with a smile. “I am making you a special drink,” she told him.

Adam had taken a bite of delicious lemony goodness and it suddenly curdled in his mouth. “A drink?” he asked cautiously around the pastry on his tongue which he really didn’t feel like eating now.

“It is to help you get better,” Norma assured him.

“What is in it?” he asked, waiting for eye of newt or wing of bat.

“Just some herbs and spices,” she said blithely. She took a pinch of oregano and dropped it into the juicer. She zapped it a couple of times until the mixture turned green and thick. Adam did **not** like the look of it at all.

“Drink up, cher,” Norma told him when she handed him the hideous-smelling drink. He wanted to pull a face or flatly refuse but obediently drank it down when he met Norma’s dark, insistent eyes.

“It will make you très strong,” Norma said when he made a face. “It will help you sleep this night. Things will be ver’ different when you wake.”

“Strong for what?” he gasped as the sour taste hit the back of his throat. He fought the gag reflex and only several years of giving spectacular blow jobs saved him.

“Your life?” Norma looked at him, eyes dark and endless. “It be a-changin’ from dis day.”

Adam swayed a little on his feet and Norma reached out to steady him. “What the fuck was in that drink?” he asked as his eyes blurred.

“The beginin’ of great things for you, cher,” Norma said and somehow, Adam was not comforted at all. He headed for his room with a small wave to Norma and wondered just how dangerous it was for semi-concussed people to keep falling asleep. Maybe he could ask his doctor. Or Aunt Norma.

[   
](http://s200.photobucket.com/albums/aa54/CydSA/my%20art/?action=view&current=blackrose.gif)

Adam woke up the next morning and lazily rubbed his half-hard cock. He’d slept like the dead. Whatever had been in Norma’s concoction had given him the best night’s sleep he’d had in ages.

He rolled out of bed and padded to his bathroom. When he hit a wall where his bathroom door should have been, he swore, blinked and swore again.

“What the fuck?” he asked and then heard his own voice. Which. Wasn’t. His. Own. Voice. He told himself to calm down and that he was dreaming and he pinched himself a few times. Hard. Fuck. He was awake.

He turned around to look at his room. Only, it wasn’t _his_ room at his mother’s home. It looked like a dorm room. Someone else’s dorm room and he tried to remember if he’d snuck out last night and somehow sleepwalked into someone else’s bed. And did he get lucky?

The walls weren’t the electric blue and silver he’d painted his own dorm room. His large double bed was now a single with a meager looking duvet and one pillow. Conclusion: this was not his room. He spun around, trying to spot something he recognized. The baseball jacket was not one of those things.

“Hey, you lazy shit,” Mike Sarver burst into the room and grabbed him, knuckling his head. “It’s about time you woke up.”

Adam wriggled free of Sarver’s hands and glared at him. “Dude, what the actual fuck?” He realised suddenly that his voice was about an octave lower and just…no.

Mike stared back. “Allen?” he asked and Adam froze.

“What?” Adam asked the big guy.

Sarver looked confused. “What?” Sarver asked Adam. Adam wanted to ask who was on first and he clamped down the urge to laugh.

He heard running in the corridor just before the door banged open again, distracting them both and Adam felt like he was having an out of body experience as _he_ raced into the room.

“Lambert?” Mike’s brow furrowed. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Adam watched himself as he looked at himself. Then his brain froze. This was not possible. **He** was having a bad ‘shroom trip or something.

“What the hell did you do?” It was his voice coming out of his body without _him_ in it. He wanted to hyperventilate.

“Er, Mike, could you give me and Kris a minute please?” the other him asked.

Sarver frowned again and looked at Adam for confirmation. He just nodded. “Okay, but I want to know what’s going on later, right?” he pointed at Adam who nodded again. The other Adam closed the door behind him and turned the lock.

“Alright, what the heck did you do to me?” His hands flailed a little and right there Adam realized that the person currently occupying his other body wasn’t him. He was being way too calm. He’d have been freaking the fuck out. Hell, Adam _was_ freaking the fuck out.

“Kris?” he asked. “Why are you wearing my skin?” A hysterical giggle bubbled up. He was having a really bad dream right now.

“Why are you wearing _mine_?” the other him asked and Adam rushed into the bathroom and stared in the mirror.

“Holy fucking fuck,” he breathed as he lifted his hand and prodded at his cheek. Wide shocked brown eyes gazed back at him. He looked like Kris Allen. “Fucking fuckity fuck,” he said. Just not fucking possible.

“Yeah, that,” the other him -- Adam could only assume it was Kris -- drawled from the bathroom doorway. “How did you kidnap my body? And how do I get it back”

Adam stiffened, spun around and glared at Kris. “Hey!” he protested. “It could be your fault!”

Kris was shaking his - Adam’s - head. “Nope, I woke up like this and knew it had to be you.”

Adam narrowed his eyes. He had the sneaking suspicion that it just made him look even cuter and more cuddly. “Well, the same thing happened to me, so don’t make me the fall guy here!”

“Who do you know who could do something like this?” Kris asked, again with the almost unnatural calm.

Adam opened his mouth to protest and then closed it again. He slumped back against the washbasin. “Norma,” he groaned.

“Who is Norma?” Kris asked. Adam was totally surprised at just _how_ calm Kris was considering he was wearing a different body than he had been the night before.

Then again, Adam had always secretly thought that tiny, perfect Kris was the sexiest thing on two legs. But he wasn’t ever going to tell Kris that.

“Norma is my mom’s best friend, sort of an adopted aunt,” Adam explained. “She’s also way into voodoo.”

“Oh my god!” Kris exclaimed. “You got us cursed by a mambo?” Adam was entranced by the sight of his own blue eyes shooting angry fire back at him.

“Um…” he replied.

“Oh my god!” Kris exclaimed again, this time jabbing at him with an angry finger. “You’re a complete asshole!”

“Hey!” Adam protested and then tried batting his eyelashes. “You’ve got ridiculous eyelashes,” he told Kris.

“What?” Kris yelped and Adam winced and wondered just how often he made that same noise. When he was in his **OWN BODY**.

“Um…” he replied again and Kris threw up his hands. Adam took a moment to admire the grace in the movement.

“You’re the most insane person I’ve ever met!” Kris shouted.

“Well, you’re the most violent!” Adam responded and Kris blinked.

“What?” Kris asked, this time quieter and calmer. “I’m not violent at all.”

“You knock me out with a baseball, you threaten me with your superior height!” Adam glared at Kris. “You’re a bully in pretty boy’s clothing.”

“I’m not a bully!” Kris gasped. “My mama raised me to be kind to those less fortunate than me.”

Adam snorted. “Well, I guess you assume that everyone, including me, is more fortunate than you because you’ve been nothing but nasty to me since we met.”

Kris gaped. “You’ve got room to talk!” He was shouting again. “You’ve insulted me, put me down, ridiculed me and my uniform and pretty much been an entitled asshole from the moment I introduced myself to you. And on top of everything, it looks like you’ve managed to get me cursed by a voodoo priestess.” That calm façade was unraveling rapidly.

“Because I thought you were gorgeous, fuckwit!” Adam shouted in exasperation and then clapped his hands in front of his mouth, gazing at Kris in horror.

Kris stared back at him, blue eyes wide and shocked. “You think I’m gorgeous?” he whispered eventually. Adam rolled his eyes, hands still over his mouth and nodded.

“You’re like the most popular guy on campus,” Kris pointed out. “I’m just the new guy and kind of boring.”

“What?” Adam stared at Kris. “Have you seen you? I’m all smoke-and-mirrors and eyeliner and mascara and glitter. You’re the real deal, baby.” He decided that he should just shut the fuck up right now and find a hole to hide in for a millennium or two.

“Okay,” Kris took a shuddering breath. “We’re both gorgeous.” Adam did **not** smile at that. “Now, how do we fix this?”

“Um…” Adam said, voice small and pathetic.

“Oh my god,” Kris sighed.

He handed Adam his mobile - Adam’s mobile, that is, because of course he was in Adam’s clothes and had been in Adam’s bed in Adam’s home - and Adam dialed Norma. It went straight to voice mail.

“Aunt Norma,” he said, marveling at how calm he sounded, even with the raspy voice of one Kris Allen. “It appears that I have managed to somehow switch bodies with Kris Allen. I’m hoping that this was just a mistake on your part as this kind of evil plan is really not something a woman of your capabilities should evidence.” He could hear his voice rising. “Can you switch us back please? This is going to get very ugly very quickly if you don’t.” He sighed. “Oh, and in case you don’t recognize the voice, it’s Adam…in Kris. I mean, in Kris’ body.”

He chanced a quick glance at Kris whose eyes were wide and fascinated. “You’re threatening her?” Kris asked.

Adam shrugged. “If she doesn’t get us switched back soon, then I’m going to tell my mother. Aunt Norma is scared of her.” He grinned with relish. “My mother is a very scary lady when she wants to be.”

Kris looked at him doubtfully. “You sure you know what you’re doing?”

Adam straightened his shoulders. “Trust me,” he said, “I got this.”

“Oh my god,” Kris groaned. “We’re doomed.”

They looked over their schedules and debated which classes they could afford to miss.

“Have you taken _every_ hard subject known to man?” Adam asked Kris as he looked at Kris’ schedule. Pre-law was hideous! And Kris, despite being a first year, had loaded up on some of the tougher courses.

“Are you planning on learning anything useful at all?” Kris countered, indicating Adam’s much lighter schedule as a Theatre major.

Adam grinned at him. “I’ve studied my ass off, short-stuff. I made sure that I only had a couple of courses left because it’s my senior year and hey, college is meant for experimenting and testing the boundaries.”

Kris snorted. “Sex and drugs are not on the curriculum.”

“They should be,” Adam sang and frowned when he heard his voice. “I sound like I have a bullfrog in my throat,” he wailed.

Kris raised his eyes to heaven. “Dear Lord, why do you test me in these mysterious ways?” he asked.

Adam kicked out at him. “I am singing the lead in the drama department’s production of ‘Grease’,” he told Kris loftily.

Kris stared at him. “You’re playing Danny?” he asked, and there was something in his tone…

Adam narrowed his eyes. “And your problem with that is?”

Kris shook his head quickly. “Nothing, man.”

“Oh, but please, do tell me what you see as an issue?” Adam’s voice was smooth as molasses and he quite liked the drawl that appeared in his words. Kris had an amazing speaking voice. He wondered how he sounded singing.

“Seriously, I’m sure you’ll be awesome,” Kris told him earnestly.

Adam was still doubtful and worried that Kris thought that maybe he wasn’t good enough for the role, but decided to let it go. “Thank you,” he said instead.

“So, basically, I can dodge all your classes today except for the rehearsal,” Kris mused as he looked over Adam’s roster.

“And I can avoid all of yours,” Adam smiled.

“Except for baseball practice,” Kris corrected.

Adam shook his head. “Not a fucking snowball’s chance in hell.”

“You have to go, dude” Kris pleaded. “If anyone misses a practice once before finals week, they get dropped from the team.”

Adam felt his heart sink. “You have no idea just how bad I am at ball sports,” he told Kris, mouth dry with terror.

“That’s not what I’ve heard,” Kris muttered and flushed when Adam glared at him. “Sorry.”

“I have no hand-eye coordination!” Adam exclaimed.

“Nah, you’ll be fine,” Kris said. “Swing at the little white ball.” He hopped up and demonstrated the movement. Adam got a little distracted at the motion of Kris’ hips.

“Oh God,” Adam moaned. Kris patted him on his back and Adam told his cock to behave itself. Kris was straight. Wasn’t he? And so not interested and this was just a temporary situation. Right. Totally.

Besides, thinking about sex with someone when that someone was currently occupying his body was on a whole new level of weird. He was going to need a lot of therapy after this.

[   
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They stayed in Adam’s room for most of the day, Adam getting Kris ready for his musical debut and Kris trying to get Adam to look vaguely competent on a baseball pitch. Adam had a very bad feeling about this.

“You are the worst athlete in the history of sports!” Kris shouted, throwing his hands up. “You keep ducking out of the way and ruining my aim! What is so hard about catching a ball?”

“Other than the fact that I’m usually a pitcher?” Adam asked and Kris frowned. Adam rolled his eyes. That had gone completely over Kris’ head. “I told you my hand-eye coordination sucked,” he explained.

“But it’s a ball and you catch it,” Kris wailed.

“But it’s hard and I can’t!” Adam told him.

Kris stepped closer. “You need to focus,” he said. His eyes were dark and warm. Adam wanted to go swimming in them.

“On what?” Adam asked, watching the movement of Kris’ mouth. This was way beyond weird.

“The ball!” Kris yelled.

“Oh,” Adam said and then looked up at Kris. “Is it weird that I keep thinking about kissing you, me?”

Kris’s eyes went big and very blue. “Yes!” he stated as he moved to the safety of the other side of Adam’s bed. “It’s like incest or something!”

“No,” Adam mused. “More like masturbation.”

“Oh my god!” Kris stared at him, seeming torn between laughter and fascination. “You are the strangest person I have ever met.”

“So that’s a no to kissing then?” Adam asked.

“Yes!” Kris said. “I mean no! I mean…” he went pale and bit his lip. “I need to lie down.”

Adam made a broad, sweeping gesture towards his bed. Kris shook his head. “I’ll feel safer in my own bed.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “I will not molest you in your sleep.” He grinned. “I could however molest myself.” He looked down at the compact body he was wearing. “It could be fun.”

“Don’t you dare!” Kris warned him and then flushed when Adam raised an eyebrow. “Please.”

Adam grinned again. “Well, I am a little worked up what with all this talk about balls and masturbation and sleeping…” he trailed off, breaking into helpless giggles when he saw Kris’ horrified face. “I’m a man in the prime of my life. I have needs.”

“You are an evil, evil man,” Kris told him, pointing a finger and laughing helplessly.

Adam looked at Kris and grinned. At least a part of Kris was interested.

“Well, hello there,” he drawled and started walking towards Kris. Kris carried on reversing until his back was pressed against the door. “It seems that your – my - body knows what it wants.”

“No,” Kris said, voice a little shaky. “It just means…” Adam shut him up with a kiss. He had to stand on his toes to reach Kris’ mouth.

“Oh,” Kris said when Adam pulled away.

“Yeah,” Adam’s voice was a little husky, a little raspy and he really wanted to hear Kris like that one day.

“That was…” Kris looked down at him and bent to take Adam’s mouth again. Adam felt his body give way and Kris’ arms came around him and pulled him close.

This time it was Kris who lifted his head and Adam dropped his forehead against Kris’ shoulder. “I’m not…I mean…I haven’t…” Kris sounded confused and scared and aroused at the same time. “I’ve known you since junior high and you’ve never been …”

“I have,” Adam assured him. “I mean, I do! But you always seemed so…”

“Involved with girls?” Kris suggested.

“Yeah,” Adam said.

“If you’d made a move,” Kris told him. “Ever.”

“Really?” Adam asked. “I just…”

“You just assumed that I was straight, didn’t you?”Kris asked and his cheeks were flushed pink.

“Um,” Adam replied.

“You know that ‘assume’ is when you make an ass out of ‘u’ and ‘me’?” Kris pointed out.

“I need to lie down,” Adam muttered and blushed when Kris laughed.

“We’re definitely going to talk about this more when we’re back to normal,” Kris told him.

“Look at you being all Toppy McTopperson!” Adam accused and Kris kissed him again, dragging his tongue over Adam’s lip and pushing inside until Adam started feeling like one of those swooning ladies on his mother’s bodice ripper novels.

Kris pulled back again and rasped, “I’d better get to rehearsal.”

“Yeah,” Adam replied, mind a complete fog and Kris laughed a little.

“And you’d better get to practice,” he told Adam.

The fog vanished. “Oh god, I’m going to die.” Adam was sure he felt a migraine coming on.

[   
](http://s200.photobucket.com/albums/aa54/CydSA/my%20art/?action=view&current=blackrose.gif)

Adam sucked ass at baseball. Coach Lefevre looked at him when he fumbled his first catch as though he was lower than the dirt underneath his shoes.

“Buttered up your fingers, Allen?” he asked and Adam scowled.

“I’m not feeling too great, Coach,” he said instead. “I only came to practice because I didn’t want to lose my place on the team.”

Lefevre tilted his head to one side. “That’s real sporting of you, Allen,” he smiled. “I ‘preciate the dedication.”

“I’m not going to be good for much though,” Adam warned and then shrieked five minutes later when one of the fielders hurtled a ball at him at the speed of light.

He lurched to one side to avoid it, stumbled into Mike Sarver grunted and grabbed him. Adam was not expecting the easy familiarity and stepped away from him and backed into Dan Gokey. Gokey pushed Ädam away with a yell and Adam watched in horror as Sarver shoved at Dan.

“You’re an asshole, Gokey!” Mike yelled. “You could have just stood your ground!”

“Why didn’t you hang on to your girlfriend?” Gokey sneered and Adam wanted to join Sarver in kicking his homophobic ass.

“Alright, that’s about enough of that,” Lefevre grabbed Gokey and Sarver and separated them with a glare. “What is with you two lately? I swear it’s like you’ve had a lover’s quarrel.” He looked between them in disgust. “I should send you boys to play with the football jocks. They’d sort you out in a jiff.”

Gokey struggled in the coach’s grip and tried to kick Sarver. Adam watched Kris’ roommate step back and away and shake his head.

“Sorry Coach,” Mike said and looked over at Adam. “I guess Allen took me by surprise, what with his ballet routine on the pitch there.”

Lefevre gave a bark of laughter. “Ya’ll might be right about that, boy,” he said and shook his head at Adam. “You’re acting a little weird today, son. Is everything alright with you?”

Adam felt his hands clench and wanted to be anywhere but here right now. He’d only been here for half an hour and he hated it already. “I’m good, Coach,” he said, trying to keep his tone even. “I guess I’m not so steady on my feet. I’m not feeling so good to tell the truth.”

Coach Lefevre looked at him and frowned. “You’re lookin’ a little pale there, Allen. Maybe you should go and get some rest. There are scouts coming to the game this weekend so you’d best be at full speed ahead by then.”

Adam tried not to be too obvious in his relief. “Sure thing, Coach,” he smiled and endeavored not to run off the field.

[](http://s200.photobucket.com/albums/aa54/CydSA/my%20art/?action=view&current=piano.gif)  
He slipped into the back of the auditorium, wincing a little as he watched Kris on stage. It was fair to say that he wasn’t a natural actor. His voice sounded good though - well it was _Adam’s_ voice, so it was awesome.

Paula Abdul, Adam’s favourite lecturer and the college musical director, looked like she wanted to cry. “Adam, baby, sweetie, are you sure you’re okay?”

Kris smiled manfully. “Guess I might be coming down with a bug or something,” he mumbled and then looked directly up at Adam. “Kris!” he called, eyes wide and desperate.

“Hey,” Adam waved as the entire cast turned to look at him.

“What are you doing here, Mr. Allen?” Paula asked.

“Um,” Adam said.

“He’s keen on auditioning!” Kris jumped into the conversation and Adam felt like sobbing into his sweaty t-shirt. He just hoped Kris knew something about his own voice that Adam didn’t.

“Really?” Allison, child prodigy and Adam’s favourite person in the entire world, stared at Adam doubtfully. “He’s a baseball player.”

Paula placed a gentle hand on Alli’s arm. “Theatre and sports are not mutually exclusive, Allison,” she chided.

Alli flushed and glared at Adam as though the reproof was all his fault. “Sorry,” she mumbled, “I didn’t mean it like that.” Then she looked at him again and this time came over and gave him a quick hug. “Sorry,” she whispered in his ear. “I’m not normally such a bitch.”

Adam hugged her back. She was a tactile person and hugs were her currency. “No offense taken,” Adam assured her because he knew that Alli had the biggest and kindest heart in Louisiana.

“Is there anything you feel comfortable doing?” Paula asked softly and her face was kind.

Adam flicked a glance at Kris who stood between Alli and Tommy, eyes desperate. “Maybe just something in the chorus?” he suggested as he headed down to the stage.

Paula watched him as came closer and asked, “Can you sing?”

Adam looked at Kris again, who was nodding. “Yeah, I can, a little,” he said carefully and Kris beamed at him.

“Matt, please can you give us an intro into ‘Beauty School Dropout’?” Paula asked and the pianist struck up the opening chords of the cheesiest song in the history of the world.

Adam opened his mouth and gave it all he could, almost swallowing his own tongue when the voice that emerged from his bright and shiny new throat was rough and low and ridiculously sexy. He carried on singing though and watched as his friends looked at him with big eyes and open mouths.

“Well, fuck,” Brad said when he finished the first verse and chorus. “You’re fucking awesome.” Adam grinned at him and then wanted to kick his own ass when he remembered that Brad, fucking traitor, had already cozied up to Kris while Adam hadn’t been looking.

“That was pretty good, right?” Adam asked and everyone nodded.

Paula cleared her throat. “Well people, it looks like we’ve found our replacement Angel.” The troupe broke into cheers and Adam was surrounded by arms and breasts and one hand on his ass that he somehow knew was Brad’s.

“Our original Angel quit. Something about going to Macchu Pichu to find himself.” Paula looked Adam over, face considering. “Will you be able to fit rehearsals into your schedule?” Paula asked.

Adam shot a panicked look over at Kris who spoke up smoothly. “Well, the Angel isn’t a huge role so Kris won’t have to be here for the whole rehearsal.”

Adam picked up the thought process. “Right. I mean, I can go to baseball practice and then come over here after!” He and Kris grinned at each other in delight.

“Very well,” Paula said, her tone still doubtful. “Perhaps I should let you leave for the rest of the afternoon and rest your voice, Adam.”

Adam nodded and then remembered that he wasn’t Adam. Thankfully Kris picked up his cue and nodded as well. “That might be a good idea, thanks,” he said and then looked at Adam. “Maybe I can do a little one-on-one coaching with Kris here, get him up to speed, help him learn his lines?”

Brad snorted. “So that’s what the cool kids are calling it these days?” he asked with a smirk and Alli giggled.

Adam wanted to kick his best friend – hard - but he knew he couldn’t so he settled for a hard glare that rolled right off the little asshole’s back.

“Shut up, Bradley,” Kris muttered, ears bright red and Brad stared at him for a moment and then looked at Adam.

The expression on Brad’s face was thoughtful. “You know…” he began and Kris grabbed Adam’s hand and dragged him out of the auditorium with a desperate shout goodbye.

“I could have taken him,” Adam told Kris, mouth set in a definite pout.

“Can you please just shut up until we get to your room?” Kris asked and then stopped. “Where _is_ your dorm room?”

“Oh yeah, you were in my mom’s house when you woke up this morning,” Adam remembered. “Did she see you, say anything?”

Kris shook his head as they walked. “Nah, I just pulled on whatever clothes I could find and ran over to the campus.” He looked over at Adam. “Don’t you think it’s weird that your mom stays so close by?”

Adam frowned. “I never thought so,” he shrugged. “It’s just been us for so long and I wanted her to be near so it just worked out that way.”

“Man, I wouldn’t want my parents anywhere near my college campus,” Kris admitted. “You’re a brave man.”

Adam laughed. “It’s just that my mom is awesome. My friends love hanging around her, she’s become like our group mom.”

“That sounds actually pretty cool,” Kris admitted and they exchanged grins. “So, about your room?” he asked again.

Adam knew his smile was smug. “Follow me and be prepared to die of envy,” he told Kris and they headed to the final year student residences. Adam had a room of his own, a blissful haven of serenity and calm away from the chaos that his life frequently exploded into.

Kris stared in silence when Adam flung the door open. Adam tried to see his sanctuary through someone else’s eyes. So it may have been a little eclectic for most people’s taste, but it was his and it represented him right from the inside out.

“Cool,” Kris said with a slow sweep of the deep green and blue walls, the red and gold window drapes and the zebra print throw over that trailed off his bed onto the floor. He went bright red when he saw the mirror on the ceiling but his mouth tugged up in a grin.

“I like it,” Adam said and nudged Kris inside. He closed the door and locked it. Kris raised an eyebrow. “I don’t want to have to explain anything to anyone else for the rest of the day.” Adam told him.

Kris shrugged. “I’m good with that,” he said and went to the huge violent violet bean bag chair at the window. He threw himself into it and yelped when it imploded, sucking him into its depths. “Help!” he called.

“I think you can manage,” Adam said, looking down at Kris flailing his arms and legs trying to get out.

“No!” Kris shouted, eyes dancing. “Your chair is trying to eat me!” He flapped his hands at Adam, motioning for him to help him up.

Adam laughed and held out a hand. He forgot that he was the little guy now and ended up yanked down on top of Kris, nose pressed into his chest. “Um,” he said and Kris wrapped his arms around him.

“Well, this wasn’t quite what I had in mind,” Kris drawled and Adam laughed again and tried to wriggle off him.

“Sorry,” he said but Kris tightened his embrace.

“I’m really not,” Kris told him and hauled him up to kiss him.

It was the stomach-swooping, free-falling, hair-raising feeling of jumping out of an airplane without a parachute and Adam tumbled into it without fear.

Kris’ mouth was hot and wet and eager and Adam felt consumed by him. He lets himself sink into the kiss, for once not over-thinking things and Kris made a small sound of satisfaction.

That little growl spoke directly to Adam’s dick. Adam’s dick was very excited to talk back. Adam’s brain however decided that things were going just a little too fast.

“Stop,” Adam mumbled around Kris’ lips.

“Why?” Kris asked, hot blue eyes filling Adam’s vision.

“We agreed,” Adam said, pushing up and back. “This isn’t a good idea while we’re still…” he motioned helplessly between them, “…us.”

Kris scowled. “We don’t know how long ‘this’ is going to last,” he pointed out, hands still tight on Adam’s hips. Adam really wanted to go further but he knew that it would be a very bad thing. Kris was eager but innocent and Adam was…Adam was crushing on Kris so hard he might well give him anything he wanted.

“I’m sure Norma wouldn’t make us suffer like this for too long.” He did not sound sure at all.

Kris narrowed his eyes. “Hey, there is no ‘us’ here. It’s you she cursed. I just got dragged along for the ride.”

Adam made sure he kneed Kris in the groin when he rolled off the bean bag. “You’re cursed too, deal with it,” he said.

He put the kettle on and took two mugs down. “Would you like some tea?” he asked Kris. “Tea with honey is really good for the vocal chords.” He was rambling and he knew it.

“Tea? Really?” he asked and rolled to his feet and honest-to-god pouted at Adam. “I would like to carry on with what we were doing,” he muttered. “It felt great.”

Adam could not believe he was actually turning Kris down. “It’s just too weird,” he said. “I mean, I feel as though I’m making out with myself.” Kris glowered and Adam added hastily, “not that it isn’t amazing but seriously, you’re not freaking out and that’s sort of freaking me out.”

Kris sighed and propped a hip against the small bar fridge. “I’m not the sort of guy who gets freaked out,” he said. “I’m unflappable. In moments where flapping happens, I don’t flap.”

Adam stared at him, mouth open. “You’re insane,” he said and then jumped when the kettle whistled. He busied himself with adding teabags to the mugs and pouring the hot water.

“I’ve been told that I’m a calming influence,” Kris said when Adam handed him his cup. “I am like the water on a fire.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “You’re the something on a something alright,” he said and his mobile screamed at him.

It was Kris’ turn to jump. “What the hell?” he asked when Adam pulled the phone out of his pocket.

“I made my own ringtone . It’s Jamie Lee Curtis, the original Scream Queen. Awesome right?” Adam stated with a grin. Kris just took a couple of deep breaths and shook his head.

Adam looked down at the Caller ID. “Hi Aunt Norma!” he said, trying for blasé and cheerful. Her low chuckle made his guess that he hadn’t been too successful.

“Bonjour, cher,” she greeted. “Why don’ you put me on speaker so that I can speak to the both of you at the same time?”

“How do you know that Kris is with me?” Adam asked and Kris paled.

“I know a lot about a lot,” Norma told him cryptically.

Adam obeyed and Kris moved closer. “So, Adam thinks maybe you did this to us?” Kris asked carefully.

“Mais weh, cher,” she replied, “but it was mostly a lesson for my bebe, Adam.”

Kris looked at him accusingly. “I told you that this was all your fault.”

“So what now?” Adam asked, ignoring Kris. “When do we change back?”

“I only made enough potion to last a day, bebe,” she laughed.” But don’t you want to know why you changed bodies with the boy you claimed took your place in your school?”

Adam suddenly wanted to press the mute button because he remembered her question a couple of days ago. “I know why,” he mumbled, flushing.

Kris nudged his shoulder. “Well I want to know why,” he said.

“I granted my boy a wish,” Norma explained. “He wanted to know how you feel about him. He also wanted you to know how he feels about you.”

Kris looked at Adam. “But I _don’t_ know how he feels about me,” Kris said, voice soft.

“But you do, cher,” Norma said. “The spirits be saying that you two been at each other all day.”

Adam started praying for a hole to open up. “Aunt Norma,” he whined and Kris bumped his shoulder again, this time grinning at him.

“Yeah, I think maybe he likes me,” Kris told her.

“Shut up,” Adam muttered, face scarlet and hot.

“I think maybe you like him too?” Norma asked Kris.

It was Kris’ turn to blush. “He’s okay,” he mumbled, “when he’s not being a drama queen.”

Adam made sure his face promised retribution. He didn’t think the face he was wearing came in that emotion though. “So will we change back tonight?” he asked instead.

“Midnight be the breakin’ of the spell, bebe,” Norma told him. “I’d best be goin’ now, I have some things to do this afternoon.”

“Thank you,” Kris said to her and he was smiling broadly. Adam stared at him. “You’re awesome, by the way. I always wanted to meet a real voodoo priestess.”

Norma’s rich laugh echoed from the small speaker. “Mais weh, cher, you are welcome. Treat my boy right now, y’hear?” And she was gone.

“Why the fuck did you thank her?” Adam demanded. “She turned our lives upside down!”

Kris put his hand on Adam’s hot cheek and smiled. “If she hadn’t done this, you’d still be pretending that you hate me and I wouldn’t get to do this.” He pulled Adam close and kissed him stupid.

“Oh,” Adam said against the damp warmth of his mouth. Realization finally dawned. He was an utter idiot really. “Oh!”

Making out with himself turned out to be pretty fucking spectacular.

[   
](http://s200.photobucket.com/albums/aa54/CydSA/my%20art/?action=view&current=blackrose.gif)

When Adam woke up, things were back to normal. Well, if normal was him in his own body wrapped around a very naked Kris Allen.

Adam was hoping that this was the new normal. He could get used to this brand of normal.

Kris opened his eyes - his beautiful, warm brown eyes - and smiled up at Adam. “Morning,” he drawled and Adam almost melted into the mattress in relief.

“Morning,” Adam replied and smiled. Then he remembered. “Oh God, morning breath!” he exclaimed and leapt out of the bed and raced into the bathroom. He scrubbed his teeth and then jumped when Kris came up behind him, still naked and warm and dropped his head against Adam’s shoulder.

“Share?” Kris asked, indicating the toothbrush. Adam handed it over silently. This relationship had just skipped several vital steps.

“So,” Kris said when he handed the toothbrush back to Adam and spat out the toothpaste, swishing water in his mouth. “It’s good to be back in our own bodies, right?”

Adam stared at him. “Why aren’t you freaking out?” he demanded. “ _I’m_ freaking out.”

Kris stood on his toes and kissed him. “I’ve got what I wanted,” he said as though Adam had asked the dumbest question ever. “I’m okay with how I got it.”

Adam stared some more. “What?” he asked.

Kris ran the tap and splashed water on his face. “I guess it wasn’t about the right girl.” He looked up at Adam again, water drops clinging to those sinfully long eyelashes. “It was about the right guy.”

“Oh,” Adam said, sounding stupid even to himself. “Oh!” he exclaimed and smiled into Kris’ mouth as he kissed him.

He made a mental note to send Aunt Norma a fruit basket. He owed her forever.

[   
](http://s200.photobucket.com/albums/aa54/CydSA/my%20art/?action=view&current=blackrose.gif)

**Author's Note:**

>  **Art** Inspired by this pic by dhfreak who I have worked with in the past  & love: [Here!](http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa54/CydSA/my%20art/kradam-reversebb.png)  
>  **Notes** Also a little inspired by an ‘overheard’ twitter convo between  & who were discussing Freaky Friday. Title is from Cole Porter’s “You Do Something To Me”. Camelot College in Baton Rouge is totally real. The courses & extracurriculars are all made up though.  
> for the Kradam Reverse Big Bang challenge


End file.
